The Hyjinx of Sakura and Akatsuki!
by Warrior orb5
Summary: The cracktastic adventures of Sakura and the Akatsuki. No lemons, yuri or yaoi. Alot of OoCness.
1. The pranks and the start of payback

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or the Akatsuki or Zelda, even if I wish I did.  
This is meant as a total parody, I won't have any lemons in the story, and I WILL make fun of pretty much all the Akatsuki. Also there will be no slash or yaoi. Not made to insult any specific story or author. Rewritten.

* * *

"Man, it sure can be boring being a S-ranked criminal with nothing to do but sit around the base," thought Sakura who had joined Akatsuki because she started getting over Sasuke and getting annoyed by Naruto.

"Maybe I'll go mess with the other members for a while," she thought while trying to come up with a plan to fuck with Hidan.

* * *

20 Minutes Later

"Hi Hidan," Sakura said a bit to cheerfully.

"Oh dear Jashin, please tell me that this isn't about me 'accidentally' stabbing Kakuzu in his sleep and costing him a heart," replied the now nervous Jashinist.

"No, I just wanted to see if something would work," said Sakura as she pulled out a vile filed with what Hidan thought was water.

"What is that?" asked Hidan.

"This! THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!" Sakura yelled as she splashed him in the face repeatedly.

"What the hell was that for?" demanded an extremely pissed off Hidan.

"You where suppose to melt ... I guess it doesn't work," Sakura answered in false disappointment.

"Oh well, wanna go annoy Kakuzu?" asked a still annoyingly happy Sakura.

"No, I want to go get a dry cloak!" yelled Hidan who was trying to keep his clothes as dry as possible.

"Whatever," said Sakura as she walked away slightly disappointed.

"Hey Kisame have you seen Kakuzu anywhere?" asked Sakura as she walked into the living room to see Kisame watching TV.

"Yeah, he's where he always is," replied Kisame.

"You mean out walking around pretending he has a life?" asked Sakura.

"Yup," replied Kisame who was trying to contain his laughter but failing miserably.

Sakura smiled but then tried to get a more specified answer, "Alright, but do you know more specifically?"

"Yeah he said he was going to go to the bar, the one that actual serves us despite the fact that were Akatsuki."

Sakura thanked him and then started walking towards the town. She began thinking of ways to annoy the other immortal as until she reached her destination with the perfect one.

"Man, this is gonna be hilarious," thought a pink-haired girl that was smiling all to evilly.

"Hi Kakuzu," greeted Sakura who was now trying to be as casual as possible.

Kakuzu who was not very interested in her was paying more attention to his sake but mumbled a quick reply.

"Hey, can I ask you something?" said Sakura in the most ditsy sounding voice she could manage.

"Uh...I guess" Kakuzu agreed reluctantly.

Sakura who was purposely looking as retarded as possible asked, "How did you find the heart containers, did you use cheat-codes?"

Kakuzu stared blankly at her so she continued.

"Because I could only find the one at the Zora's Domain," said Sakura as she looked at him expectantly.

Kakuzu choosing then to question her spoke up, " What the hell are you talking about?"

"The heart containers in Zelda, how else would you have so many hearts at one time, I mean any logical person would figure it out," said Sakura as if this were simple common knowledge that he should know.

"... You are aware that that's just a game and my powers have nothing to do with it right?" asked Kakuzu who was starting to get weirded out by this.

"Yup," Sakura replied happily leaving Kakuzu there to think about what just happened.

He heard some snickers from across the bar coming from some guys laughing about how he was confused so easily.

"You guys are so fucking dead!"

Sakura was happy with the amount of tricks she pulled but she knew that she could do better. She began debating which members should be next on her list and finally decided it would be Kisame. She walked into the base and came up to a ordinary sight for most Akatsuki members, Hidan bathed in blood and Zetsu eating a human arm. Totaly normal.

"Do you guys know where Kisame and Itachi are?" she asked the others.

"I think I saw them over in the living room," said the dark Zetsu while cleaning up the blood all over the table.

Sakura thanked him as she walked away. She walked into the next room over and saw Itachi standing and holding a glass of soda and Kisame watching TV.

"Hey guys," said Sakura.

Itachi nodded in acknowledgement and Kisame said hello absentmindedly not looking up from the TV. Sakura walked over and sat next to him on the sofa.

Sakura looked towards him slyly and asked, "So... Itachi pop the question yet?"

Itachi spit out his soda comically and Kisame immediately jerked up and looked horrified.

"Oh dear god, you should see the look on your faces, I never see you make a face Itachi and Kisame, you look like a fish that got hooked!" Sakura finally gasped out through her laughing.

The two males were seriously pissed off but the girl kept laughing and walked out muttering, "I'm sorry that's just too funny."

* * *

Later that night

"OK guys, so you know the plan right?" the first person asked.

The second nodded, "Yes, we have to get her tonight to get her to stop playing pranks on us, its getting annoy, yeah."

"Alright, who wants to go first?" Asked the first again.

I will, this will be freaking hilarious," the third replied evilly.

* * *

The next day

Sakura knew as soon as she woke up that this day in particular was gonna be a weird one. No, she didn't just have a bad feeling she woke up on the wrong side of the bed that day, and not only that but it was Hidan's bed that she woke up in. Yeah, she could already tell that today was going to be messed up. Just then the owner of said bed walked in.

"Good morning, Baby," Hidan said as he walked over to the bed and started to hug her sweetly.

"Who are you and what have you done with the real Hidan!" Sakura said in all seriousness.

"I have no idea what your talking about," a seemingly confused Hidan replied.

"Yeah sure, this is completely normal behavior for you," Sakura retorted sarcastically.

"What are you talking about of course it is why wouldn't I act this way to my girlfriend?" asked Hidan in a voice that was way to sweet for him.

She stared at him in disbelief until he finally spoke again, "Don't pretend like you don't remember, or would you like me to remind you what happened last night."

Hidan pulled her closer to him and started to nibble on her neck. Sakura quickly jumped out of the bed and noticed something, she was completely dressed and didn't have a hair out of place.

Hidan burst out laughing and gasped out between laughs, "Oh man that is so funny it's worth all the praying and sacrifices that I'll have to do for going against my religion."

"You bastard!" yelled Sakura who was now considering if it was worth punching him through a wall or not.

"Keh, whatever I'm gonna go pray," Hidan said as he walked out.

Sakura thought about it and decided that it was just one of Hidan's random acts of stupidity that he normally does. As she walked back to her room to change out of her night-clothes and into her cloak she saw something so outrageous it made the whole scene with Hidan seem normal. On her bed sat Sasori. This wasn't just surprising because he hated her and tried his best to avoid her and talking to her at all costs. It was surprising because he was smiling and holding something behind his back.

"Well it's safe to say this probably isn't going to get any weirder," Sakura thought to herself.

She was very, VERY wrong.

"Hey Sakura, I have a gift for you my bestest friend in the whole world!" Sasori squealed and shocked Sakura.

He moved the hand from behind his back but there were nothing in them. Before she could react he jumped up and hugged her.

"Ha, I should of taken pictures of your face, I would have been able to look at them for eternity it was so funny," Sasori said while smiling like a manic.

As he left the room Sakura wondered if the day could get any weirder or if it was humanly possible for Sasori to be any creeper. After getting changed she was glad that there were no more interruptions. She debated whether or not going back to bed was an option and decided after hearing her stomach growl that eating was probably a better idea even if it meant facing the weirdest day of her life.


	2. Konan gets some payback too

Disclaimer: I just found out that I (DON'T) own Naruto! … Yay?  
A/N: Me want reviews even flames good me love you lots if you give to me reviews.

* * *

"How much weirder could today get?" Sakura thought, "I should just get some breakfast from the kitchen."

When she walked into the kitchen she was instantly regretting her decision because in the middle of the room she saw Deidara, in a dress. A black dress with frilly cuffs.

"Hi, Sakura It sure is a beautiful day isn't it, I'm glad that I finally saw that my art wasn't true art," said Deidara in a girly voice.

"Uh… I," was all Sakura managed to stutter out before Sasori walked in holding a origami bird.

"Hi Sasori-Danna, I see that you to found Konan's art to be the best, am I correct, yeah?" said the bomber as he pulled out a origami flower and put it in his hair.

"Yes, I finally see what she was always talking about," said Sasori with a very unSasori like grin.

Then he too put a paper flower in his hair. Just then to Sasori and Deidara's horror they saw that Konan, who was not let in on the pranks, was standing in the doorway smiling victoriously.

"Oh, crap what if she ruins the whole plan? Now me and Sasori-Danna are gonna have to improvise." Deidara thought.

"Hello, Konan we finally see that your art was the best!" said Sasori.

"Really, that's great I'm glad that you guys finally appreciate true art," Konan said with a wink that was out of Sakura's line of vision.

Konan had overheard there plan from the night before and now she was going to take advantage of this situation because they hadn't let her in on the prank.

"Oh crap, something tells me that this isn't gonna end well," thought Sasori.

He was right.

"Wanna go make some origami with me guys?" She asked cheerfully because she knew that she couldn't refuse.

"Yeah, sure Konan-Sama right Sasori" said Deidara just glad that they were gonna get off that easily when they had excluded Konan.

Throughout the entire conversation Sakura was left standing there stunned.

"Maybe I will just go back to bed," she thought while walking out of the room without even bothering to eat.

"Wait I know Itachi would still be normal he wouldn't act that weird in a million years!"

She then started walking to Itachi's room. She knocked on the door and herd a light come in.

"Hey, Itachi" she said and then saw him nod a hello as well as gesture to a chair.

"Itachi have you noticed anything off about the others today." she asked hoping that it wasn't just her that had noticed it.

"I don't think so, I saw Kakuzu donating money to charity, Deidara wearing his new dress, and Kisame is with his boyfriend." he replied as if it was a common day, "So, no I don't think anything is weird."

"Uh… thanks Itachi-Kun I think I'm gonna go back to bed." She replied.

"Anytime," he said with a slight smile.

"Yeah should have went to sleep as soon I got Sasori out of my room," she thought looking back on all of this.


	3. The master

Disclaimer: I still don't own Naruto.

A/N: I now has some reviews so I now can be not emo. ^_^ Yay. Also I'm gonna post new chapters for every hour to count down to the new year. This is the one written for 10:00.

* * *

Sakura now decided to go to sleep before anything else could happen that would scar her for life. Once she was asleep the other member's plan was finally able to be completed. When she woke up she knew that this was just one of those times that you couldn't win. No, the Akatsuki weren't there to act weird in fact they weren't even around. It wasn't the Akatsuki that were freaking her out it was the place she woke up in.

She was in the middle of the dessert.

"OK I GET IT!" Sakura yelled, "If you guys just stop and take me back to the base I'll stop pranking you!"

There was no reply.

"Oh come on guys what more do you want?" she yelled.

"Just tell us that your sorry." said a voice that came from nowhere.

"Ok I'm SORRY" she yelled.

She was then brought back to the base and out of the genjutsu she had no idea she was in.

"HA finally we taught you a lesson, hn." said Deidara.

"Oh man the look you had was priceless." added Kakuzu.

"Fine you got me I'm leaving, I'm going to go eat breakfast." she said rather annoyed that thy had gotten her so easily.

* * *

The Next Day

"Hey guys" said Sakura already bright and cheerful.

"How did you guys sleep?" she asked the obviously tired members.

"You should know those Hidden sand punks found our base and we had to send out _DEIDARA_ NOBODY GOT _ANY_ SLEEP!" Hidan yelled.

"Really, what a nice coincidence since I was in a genjutsu and therefore asleep for an extra few hours and wouldn't need any sleep last night when they found us," she said with an even brighter smile.

They all looked up at her.

"You didn't" they all said at once.

She shrugged and said "You can't outdo the master."


	4. The fire and the rain

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto but that's ok my mom still loves me. :3

A/N: This was written as a countdown to the new year!

* * *

It's been about two weeks since the prank incident as everyone has been referring to it as. Everything has more or less returned to normal, well… normal for the Akatsuki.

"Hey Deidara wanna go light stuff on fire?" Sakura asked.

Well, except for the fact that she took an interest in being a pyromaniac.

"Ok, sure lets go, hn," he replied.

As they were walking out the door Hidan saw them.

"Hey where are you guys going?" he asked.

"We have to leave the base if we wanna set stuff on fire, you know what happened last time," Deidara responded.

"Oh yeah, that traveling salesmen so didn't deserve that," Hidan said while remembering the horrible event.

"Well could I come too? Kakuzu is trying to get me to go on a bounty and I need a place to hide for a few hours till he gives up looking for me," Hidan asked.

"Ok, I guess just as long as you don't bother us, hn," said Deidara looking unsure.

"Alright lets go," said Sakura.

The three made there way out to the woods and came to the clearing that they normally go to that is about a mile or two away from the base.

"Hey guys is it just me or does it look like rain?" Sakura asked

"Ah, who cares, you think this is flammable, hn?" replied Deidara.

"I don't know wake me up when you guys are heading back to the base," said Hidan.

"Whatever even if it does rain can't be that bad right?" Sakura said while walking over with a book of matches to Deidara.

Sakura has once again made a terrible assumption. About ten minutes of lighting stuff on fire and then it started raining like a hurricane.

"I think you were right it does look like rain," Hidan said in a depressing tone.

"Its gonna suck having to run back in this whether lets just make camp at that cave a little ways away," Sakura suggested.

Once the three ninjas got to the cave they were relived to see that it looked quite dry in the back.

They all sat down and sat in an awkward silence for a few moments till Deidara spoke up, "It looks like you won't have to go on the bounty hunt now Hidan, hn."

"… I guess that this is better but what should we do till the rain dies down?" Hidan asked.

"We could play truth or dare," suggested Sakura.

"Alright," the two said at the same time both seemed kind of excited.

"I guess she gets to go first since it was her idea," Hidan said.

"This should be easy," thought Sakura.

She smirked evily and asked, "Alright, Hidan truth or dare?"

"Uhm… dare," Hidan replied.

"I dare you to switch hair styles with Deidara," she said with a look that reminded them why she was in Akatsuki.

"Fine," they said knowing that there would be worse dares.

They both were messing up and then trying to fix there hair and when they were done they looked ridicules.

"Man, wish I had a camera right now," she said mocking them.

"My turn, Sakura truth or dare?" Hidan asked.

Sakura answered right away, "Dare."

"Alright Sakura, I Dare you to take off your shirt for the rest of the game," Hidan said thinking that she wouldn't do it.

"Whatever, I'm wearing a bra," she said.

"What happens if you choose not to do the dares?" asked Deidara seeing that Sakura was looking at him meaning it was most likely his turn next and that the dares where probably gonna get worse.

"Well I guess that we could play strip truth or dare so you have to take off a piece of your clothes if you choose not to do the dare or answer the truth," said Sakura.

"Does that mean that you can't dare people to strip anymore?" asked Hidan who saw that he was gonna lose his trump card.

"Yes, that would be cheating," she said then adding, "Also if you end up naked you lose and the loser . . . well, we see them naked so, there"

"Ok I guess," they both reluctantly agreed.

"Deidara, truth or dare?" she asked.

"Truth, nobody did that yet," he said.

"Is it true that you don't hate Tobi?" Sakura asked.

"Fine it is true he just annoys me," Deidara was glad that that was all he had to do.

"Hidan, truth or dare?" he asked with a evil smirk that would put Orochimaru to shame.

He didn't back down from the challenge and answered, "Dare, because I'm not a pansy like you Deidara."

"Alright Hidan, I dare you to say that you love Dora the Explorer with a straight face," he said while snickering.

"No way! I'll just take off my cloak," Hidan said while removing the article of clothing.

"Alright my turn, Sakura truth or dare?" he asked and by the look he was giving her he probably thought of a good one.

"Dare, I guess," she replied after taking into consideration.

"I dare you to make-out with Deidara's hand," he said looking at her with a huge grin.

" . . . fine I'll do it," she said while looking almost depressed.

"HEY, don't I get a say in this?" Deidara asked while looking insulted.

"Nope," Hidan and Sakura replied automatically.

She got up and reluctantly walked over to Deidara and sat down next to him. Deidara saw this as a great chance to get back at her for making him fight those Hidden Sand ninjas for half the night and making all the other members appreciate his art even less than before if that was even possible so he covered her mouth with his hand before she had a chance to react. Sakura then felt his tongue in her mouth before she had time to really register what just happened. She was instantly repulsed at the taste of clay and briefly wondered how Deidara put up with it. After about thirty seconds they pulled away and Sakura stated going to wash her mouth out with the rain water.

This reaction earned some laughing from the other two members who in her opinion needed to be reminded that she could punch them through a wall.

"Think it's so funny huh?" She asked, "Well, Deidara truth or dare?"

"Dare," Deidara replied while still laughing hysterically with Hidan.

Sakura walked up to Deidara and whispered his Dare in his ear so Hidan wouldn't hear it, "I dare you to lick Hidan's neck next time he turns around and if he asks tell him that it was something you wanted to do all your life."

"No, I'll just strip instead, hn" said Deidara while removing his headband.

"Hey if your using your headband as clothes then you have to take off your shoes and other smaller stuff too, right Hidan?" she asked with a bright grin.

"Yup, totally," Hidan said with an equally evil but large grin.

"Fine, whatever," Deidara said as he took off the said items, "Well my turn, hn."


	5. DAMN IT HIDAN!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto but I do own ten dollars and thirty-two cents along with the pants that it is in.^_^

A/N: Uhhhhh. . . I . . . can't think of anything, but I hate pineapples. Oh, and I wrote a good long chapter while I was high off of sugar. Those were goooood chocolates.

* * *

"Sakura truth or dare?" he said.

"Heh? . . . Oh!, right dare," Sakura replied.

"I dare you to touch yourself," he said looking amused because she does almost all dares.

"Nope, sorry headband and shoes you got to go," Sakura said.

"Finally a dare she won't do, thank Jashin-Sama," Hidan yelled.

"My turn then, Deidara?" she asked.

"Fine, dare," he replied.

"I dare you to . . . Wear a Link costume for the rest of the day," Sakura said while pulling one out of her bag.

"Fine," he said while putting it on.

Hidan was laughing at the fact that the tunic looked like a skirt.

Deidara yelled from the corner he was in while trying not to be seen, "Think its funny huh?"

He asked sounding pissed off making the two others in the cave glad that he already had to ditch his clay pouch along with his shoes and headband.

"Yeah, it is," Hidan said with a smirk.

"Well then, truth or dare?" he said.

"Dare, I'm not backing down from it either!" Hidan yelled.

"Fine then, I dare you to wear a Shadow Link costume for the rest of the day," he said as he took a costume from Sakura.

"I hate you all so much I'm gonna fukin kill you heathens," Hidan mumbled as he put on the costume.

"Hey look the rain stopped we can do back now," Sakura said as she looked outside.

"To bad for you two because at the end of the games all the dares must be fulfilled but you can put your clothes back on," Sakura said with a smirk as she put her shirt back on.

"So, we have to wear the costumes back to the base and then wear them all day?" Deidara asked, his face looking hopeless.

"Yup," she said brightly.

"Well could we at least go back to burn some stuff first?" he asked not really expecting her to agree.

"No, the other members might be sent out to look for us, I mean did we tell anyone else where we were going?" Sakura said while starting to look serious.

"Good point and we wouldn't want to have to listen to leader bitch, right," Hidan said.

"Oh, CRAP the sun is coming up!" Sakura yelled while pointing at the sunrise.

"WE WHERE OUT HERE ALL NIGHT?" Deidara exclaimed.

". . ."

"Can me and Deidara take off the costumes?" asked Hidan while all three were looking at the sunrise hoping that nobody was looking for them yet.

"Yeah sure we better get back quick though," Sakura stated.

"Oh no, I just remembered, Kakuzu was looking for Hidan to go on the bounty so he'll notice that he was gone and if he asked around eventually he would get to Sasori and Tobi who would notice I'm gone and then everyone else will realize that you weren't annoying them today so then they'll ALL be looking for us because they will think something bad happened," Deidara said and looked like he was gonna pass out from saying so much in one breath.

"Well in that case lets go!" Sakura yelled at the two who where now in there uniforms again.

As they where running through the trees they saw a lot of damage from the storm last night. When they finally got back they where happy to see that there were at the very least no Akatsuki members were up yet. They all walked around and were relived to see that everyone was still sleeping as the snores from the rooms indicated as such. They all went to bed after agreeing that they would pretend that nothing had ever happened and that they were all there the day before.

* * *

The Next Day

Sakura woke up and was glad that nobody had even asked where any of them were through breakfast or her daily 'Watch an hour of brain melting TV with Kisame' But of course, Sakura's luck didn't last.

"Hey Sakura-Kun Tobi couldn't find you yesterday and then he couldn't fine Deidara-Sempai either," Tobi said cheerfully.

"Where did you go, Tobi was all alone." Tobi said and Sakura could here the sadness in his voice.

"I was hear for uh. . .most of the day but then I went to go burn things with Deidara for a few hours, you know because of what happened last time we lit stuff on fire in the base," she said just as Deidara who walked in.

He heard the conversation and walked back out before anyone noticed his presence.

"But then when Tobi went to say goodnight to you both, nether of you were their," Tobi said still sounding confused.

By now Kisame had started listening and found this interesting that Sakura would be out at night with Deidara AND lie to Tobi about it afterwards.

"So Sakura were you still with Deidara when you weren't here?" Kisame said with a big grin.

"Wha-What?" Sakura asked caught off guard.

"Hey Tobi could you go do something else me and Sakura are gonna be train," Kisame said so that he could get rid of Tobi and get Sakura alone to talk to her about what she was doing out in the middle of the night with Deidara.

"OK, Tobi is a good boy," he replied seeming happy to have found her to begin with.

"Come on," Kisame said while playfully dragging her to the training area outside the base.

"When they got there he asked, "So, what did happen with you and Deidara?"

As he said this he moved to get her pulse so he would be able to tell if she was lying.

"Crap, all of us will get in trouble if he rats on us but if I don't tell him the truth then it would make it seem like me and Deidara were. . . lovers ewww," Sakura thought as she tried to think of a way out of the situation.

"Fine, I thought you would tell me of all people considering you and I are the only ones with a almost completely normal friendship in the organization," he said with mock hurt in his tone.

"But since that doesn't seem to be true, I have an idea I'll ask more specific questions and if you don't say anything that means it is true, but if you deny and your lying then well, I guess I'll know what you were up to huh?" the shark-man finished speaking and Sakura was very close to just telling him.

"Did you really just light stuff on fire for hours?" he asked.

She said nothing.

"Heh heh, Well did you do with him huh?"

She said nothing so he asked a new question that was a bit more blunt, "Did you end up shirtless?"

"Stupid Hidan thanks for that dare," she thought angerly.

When she said nothing Kisame smiled.

"Did you make-out with him?"

"DAMN IT HIDAN!" she screamed in her mind.

When she still said nothing Kisame was smirking so evilly and he asked his last question, "Did you sleep with him?"

But right as he was going to start speaking almost not letting her answer she spoke up, "NO FUCKIN WAY!"

Now Kisame was confused.

"If you didn't want to be with him why would you to go off alone and-" he was cut off by her, "We weren't alone Hidan was there too."

Kisame then asked, "You did that with Hidan watching?"

"OK, you know what, I'm just gonna tell you the truth, me, Hidan, and Deidara all went to light stuff on fire but Hidan only came along to get away from Kakuzu who wanted to go on a bounty hunt, so when we got there it started to rain like a hurricane so we went to wait it out in a cave." She said then asking, "Are ya with me so far?"

"Yeah" he replied.

She continued her story, "So, then we started playing truth or dare the who make-out thing was just a dare, and I got dared to take my shirt off."

She saw his disappointed face and then added, "If you want to know something interesting though Hidan and Deidara both ended up in tunics."


	6. Found out

Disclaimer: Naruto is not owned by me but I bet some Akatsuki fangirls agree that it should be. XD

A/N: I need reviews GODDAMN IT! *Gets the chainsaw*

* * *

" . . ."

"Tunics huh?" Kisame asked.

"Yeah, long story short, they where both dared to dress up as Zelda characters," she replied, "But you won't tell anyone right?"

"Fine," he said with a smirk.

"Wanna get some real training in before we go back?" she asked.

"Yeah sure," he replied while grabbing his sword.

Sakura tossed some kunai and shuriken then jumped away. Kisame easily blocked them and followed after her while using a water clone jutsu. Sakura dispelled the clones and then went after Kisame. He then swung his sword at her and she narrowly missed being hit by it. Sakura then gave him a well aimed punch to the back. He staggered and dropped his sword.

She took this opportunity to catch Kisame and put a knife to his throat and said, "I guess I won this one."

"Not quite Pinky," he said while looking at something behind her.

It was the real Kisame and he had gotten his sword back.

When she saw him he dispelled the clone and said, "I guess _I _won this one."

Sakura sighed and stood up, "I guess so."

The two walked back to the base and they saw something slightly amusing, Hidan and Deidara where both being lectured by leader.

"-AND YOU LEFT WITHOUT TELLING YOUR PARTNERS!" he finished his angry rant.

"But that fucker wanted me to go on a bounty hunt and-" Hidan started.

"I DON'T GIVE A CRAP!" Leader cut him off.

"Now, both of you get back to work!" then he walked away and Kisame and Sakura went over to ask Deidara and Hidan how he found out.

"He found out from Tobi and Kakuzu," Deidara said while looking depressed.

"Nobody noticed you though so your fine," Hidan said looking about as depressed as Deidara.

Sakura wanted to cheer them up so she thought of the few things that would back them feel better, "Wanna out drinking?"

They both shook their heads no.

"Wanna go sacrifice some people?" Hidan shook his head.

"Wanna go blow stuff up?" Deidara shook his head.

"Wanna go beat the crap out of your partners?" They looked up and shook their heads yes.

Sakura shook her head and said in a sweat voice still trying to get them to feel better while leading them towards the base, "Alright, lets go beat the crap out of your partners."


	7. Manhunt

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto but I am a ninja, ok a gemin but still!

A/N: The power is out and I have ten minutes left on the battery of my computer so this is probably gonna be late.

* * *

It has been two days since Deidara and Hidan kicked there partners to hell and back and nobody other than them really cared so they went on with there life as normal. Pain and Konan were both out on business of some kind and Itachi was going to mess with Saskue's head. The only ones in the base were Kisame, Sakura, Tobi, Deidara, Hidan, Zetsu, and Kakuzu. As Sakura walked into the kitchen she saw Zetsu munching on a human leg and Kakuzu reading a newspaper while drinking some coffee.

"We're an unusual group, ya' know?" Sakura said with a blank expression while sitting down next to Zetsu.

"Yup," they both replied not looking up from there current activity and Kisame stuck his head in just to agree.

"Just makin sure that I wasn't the only one who noticed because that would be weird. . . well weirder," she replied.

"Well I'm bored, you guys wanna go play manhunt?" Sakura asked.

"What is manhunt?" Kakuzu asked.

"Once we get everyone I'll explain it, go find some people."

* * *

Twenty Minutes Later

"OK, everyone here?" Sakura asked.

"Yeah we got everyone at the base," Kisame answered.

"Good," she said.

"Alright, basically the object of manhunt is to find all the people that are hiding if your It or if your not It then you have to not be found, this game was made for non-ninjas so no jutsus or blood-line-limits," she explained.

"Well that is simple but who is gonna be It?" asked Kakuzu.

"We can draw straws," Sakura answered while picking up 7 sticks.

Everyone picked a stick and Hidan got the shortest one.

"OH COME ON!" Hidan yelled.


	8. Its all fun and games

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, but I own my laptop and that's good enough for me.

A/N: I'm on a plane. Lol

* * *

"Sorry, Hidan your it," said Sakura.

"Whatever," he said back.

"Ok everyone, we get 3 minutes before Hidan is going to come looking for us by the way no weapons, leave them here," Sakura said.

Everyone put their assorted weapons in their rooms and came back.

"Alright, everyone ready?" she asked.

She heard the other members mumble out a yes.

"Okay then, Hidan start counting, everyone else, RUN!" Sakura said while jumping into the forest and running off.

As Sakura jumped away Kakuzu caught up with her.

"What is your plan?" Kakuzu asked Sakura.

"To not be caught," she replied while keeping up her carefree mood.

"Listen, you have played this game before so I want your help to get back at Hidan for the beating, so we are going to work together," he said as he increased his speed to get slightly ahead of her.

"Fine, my plan is to get as far away as possible then keep switching hiding places every few minutes," she said.

"Do you really think that will work?" he asked sounding skeptical.

She looked at him with a annoyed expression and said, "I thought that you wanted my help!"

"If you really think that will work we'll try it, but if it goes wrong its your heart that I'll take next!" he said with his vision not once faltering from her.

"Well, I suppose I could try to help him," she thought and than replied, "Fine but I won't fail so you'll have to find someone else's heart."

"Good," he mumbled back.

They continued on for about half an hour before they stopped at what they decided would be their first hiding place.

"As long as we stay out here till Hidan and the other members lose interest we win," said Sakura.

"Alright," he replied.

Since neither of them could think of anything more that could be said they sat down and started listening to make sure that Hidan hadn't found them. After a few minutes they got up and walked around to find a new hiding place and continued this process for about an hour until they came upon something disturbing. They came into a clearing and in the center were the shattered remains of a few of Sasori's puppets and part of an Akatsuki cloak that had been shredded by something razor sharp.

"Kakuzu, what happened here?" Sakura asked while trying to find any evidence that Sasori was alright.

When she found that Sasori's puppet body wasn't in the wreckage she turned around and said, "Hey if he had his puppets than that means he cheated because he kept his weapons!"

"He lost the game then," she added.

Kakuzu looked at her with a expression that said, "Your worried about that in a time like this?"

"Your right, sorry," she said.

"Hey, I just remembered Deidara and Tobi both were with Sasori when the game started, so what happened to them?" Kakuzu said while looking through the broken pieces of puppets to find any sign of what did this.

"If whatever this was could take out this many puppets and get a good slash at Sasori then do you think that whatever it was is still out there?" asked Sakura.

"I don't know but I think we should call off this game and find the others to make sure that they haven't gotten themselves killed," he replied back while walking in the direction that Sasori probably went.

As they walked that saw more and more broken puppets and then they started seeing a bit of blood on the ground.

"You said that Deidara and Tobi were with him too didn't you?" Sakura said after seeing the blood because Sasori couldn't bleed being a lifeless puppet.

"Yeah, I'm sure that I saw them together but considering the fact that Sasori had to sneak a few scrolls to bring his puppets he must not have all of his them and he must be running out," Kakuzu said and had unknowingly voiced Sakura's fears.

"I think that I know what happened then," Sakura stated, "Because Deidara and Tobi both are weaponless Sasori probably had no choice but to try and protect them, but when he started running out of puppets whatever he was fighting was able to injure either Tobi or Deidara."

"In that case then we should hurry to catch up to them," he said as he picked up his pace.

"Wouldn't it be a better idea to go back and get our weapons, I mean we'll be just as defenseless as them if we run into this blindly," she stated.

"In case you forgot I have MY weapons because I can't exactly take them off," Kakuzu said while gesturing to the stitches on this arms.

"Oh yeah" Sakura said, embarrassed that she had forgotten.

The two continued on as fast as they could and they finally found the three Akatsuki members. Deidara looked like the only one not terribly injured. Sasori had two gouges dangerously close to his heart and Tobi looked to have slashes all over his mask and wounds all over his back.

"Are you guys alright!" Sakura asked while running over to heal them.

"Th-There were too many of them, hn" Deidara said while trying to get up.

"They were everywhere!" added Sasori.

"Sasori-Danna tried his best to protect Tobi and Deidara-Sempai but they were to strong" Tobi finished.

"Who attacked you guys?" Kakuzu asked.

"It was the-OH GOD THEIR BACK!" Sasori yelled.

They all turned and looked where Sasori was pointing and saw a hoard of Anti-Akatsuki fangirls.

"NOT THEM!" Kakuzu and Sakura both shrieked.

"Akatsuki, we are here to get back at you for killing Garra and Asuma," One fangirl announced loudly while pulling out a sword.

"We're also here to do Saskue a favor!" another added.

Sakura tried to look totally in control and walked a little closer while saying, "How would you be doing Saskue a favor?"

The crazed otaku looked at each other and then replied, "Well, he killed Deidara later in the series and his whole character was based on killing Itachi."

"Wait, but didn't he regret killing Itachi later?" asked another.

"Yes but-"

"And didn't Garra come back to life anyway?" a particularly angry looking one added.

"Come on guys while there arguing lets get out of here and find the others," Sakura whispered.

They all nodded in agreement and snuck off. When they finally found the other members and got back to the base everyone was more or less exhausted.

"Well, that game was a complete failure," Kisame said.

"Yet still not as bad as the last time we actually tried a game suggested by Sakura," Deidara added.

The last time they had tried one of her games was also the last time they were allowed to light fires anywhere near the base.

"Well I can't help that I have terrible luck with picking games," She said defensively.

Sasori looked thoughtful of her claim but added, "Yeah well, that traveling salesmen sooo didn't deserve that."


	9. Oh great

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto but I do own my blue chair which is where I'm writing from.

A/N: If you guys won't review I'll get Hidan out there!

* * *

"That was one time with the traveling salesmen, its not completely my fault!" Sakura yelled.

"Whatever, just remind me why we thought listening to her was a good idea," Kakuzu demanded.

"Who cares?" Deidara started, "I'm going to bed, hn."

A few others nodded their heads in agreement and walked off toward their rooms. Only Sasori, Tobi, and Sakura where left in the room.

"Here, I'll heal you Tobi," Sakura said while walking over to him.

"Thank-you Sakura-Kun" Tobi replied.

Sasori at this point had gotten bored and also left.

"Tobi?" she asked.

"Yeah?" he replied while she began healing him.

"Why do you where that mask anyway?" she asked.

"Tobi has his mask because it looks like a lollipop!" Tobi yelled happily but then cringed as Sakura started healing another wound.

"No, I didn't mean that specific mask! I meant, oh never mind," Sakura said but decided she didn't really care all that much.

Unknowingly to her Madara was smirking under his mask.

"Alright that was the last wound you can go now Tobi," Sakura told him.

"Thank you Sakura-Kun," he said while running off.

Sakura was finally starting to feel the effects of being out all night and dealing with the anti-Akatsuki otaku so she started towards her room. Right as she was about to walk through the door a wall blew open to reveal team seven.

"Sakura, we came to rescue you, believe it!" Naruto yelled.

"Well at least nobody can accuse me of having a boring life," she thought as the other members came rushing over.

To make matters worse Itachi walked in and right after he walked over to the others Saskue came crashing in yelling at him.

"You led Saskue here?" Deidara yelled in disbelief.

"Apparently," Itachi replied.

As Naruto started yammering on about friendship Sakura started thinking, "No, nobody could say my life was boring."


End file.
